Sonali Bendre revealed that she did not want to go the US for treatment. However, after she read the results of her medical reports, the gravity of the situation hit her.
Sonali Bendre’s life changed forever when she was diagnosed with a “high-grade cancer” that had metastised. The actress had to leave for the US for treatment with her husband Goldie Behl.
Currently, Sonali has taken a small break from her cancer treatment. In a recent interview she revealed that she did not want to go to New York. “I didn’t want to go to New York. It was my husband who wanted to go. And I fought with him all through the flight. ‘Why are you doing this? We have good doctors here. Why are you taking me away?’ My home, my life… in three days, we literally just packed and left and, I don’t know, what was happening.
“I was like let’s, at least, speak to the doctors here and he was just quiet through the whole thing and focussed. In the day, he was organising and, in the night, as New York was wake; so he was organising, so day and night–he was at that. So I got him and actually cribbed about the whole thing, on the flight. Through the flight, I have cribbed; I was really venting,” revealed Sonali.
However, the gravity of the situation hit her when she read the reports. “I land in New York and next day, we go to the doctor. He looks at everything and we had sent all our tests and he says, you know, it is fourth stage and you have 30% chance of survival. That really hit me; I just turned to Goldie and I remember saying: Thank God, you got me here’. Goldie always says that tomorrow I’d rather feel I over-reacted, over-spent than under-reacted and have that regret that I should have done that’. There was no time for it and we were not told that it was fourth stage but Goldie had started reading about it and he was suspecting it.
At the India Today Conclave 2019 in Delhi, Sonali said that her initial response was to blame herself.
“Everyone said, ‘Your lifestyle was never like that. How did it happen to you?’ I actually thought that it was me doing something wrong and that I have caused it. I went to a psychiatrist in New York. I was like, I don’t understand what is happening to me. I’m not a negative person, I have a lot of positive thoughts. Am I being delusional? Do I actually have negative thoughts and I am burying it so deep in my subconscience that I don’t realise it? I needed to understand what was happening to me,” Sonali said.
“The line that he said is the hoarding for me in my life. He said, ‘Sonali, cancer is caused by genetics or virus. If thoughts could cause or cure cancer, I would be the richest man on this earth because I deal with thoughts.’ It was like a weight was lifted off,” she said.
After the words from the psychologist, Sonali stopped holding herself responsible. “I said I can deal with this. I don’t have to flog myself. Because I was doing that. I kept thinking what did I do wrong. I realised that we have done nothing wrong if we have got this disease,” she said.